Hot August Night

"Phoenix is an old Apache word that means Jesus Christ it's f-ing hot!"
-Ollie Joe Prater

It is so hot here in Phoenix, Arizona. It's August which means there is no relief even at night. The heat is oppressive. The only thing that keeps me from going completely crazy is the thought that there are only nine more days of August left this year. I know, there are places that get a lot of snow dumped on them in the winter. The good news, you don't have to shovel heat. One day I hope to become a snowbird. For those unfamiliar with the term, snowbirds live where summer is a nice thing and spend their winter in Arizona. It's the best of both worlds really. October is when it usually starts getting nice. Maybe that's why I love Halloween so much. The weather is nice, the cactus start changing color (not really), and women dress like prostitutes. "I'm not a prostitute, I'm a witch." Only if the witch is a hooker. The witch part is Jim Gaffigan's material. Jim was on That 70's Show. He was the manager at the hotel where Hyde, Kelso and Eric Foreman worked. You may have seen him in one of several Sierra Mist commercials. Jim's no fool. He's not coming to Arizona until the first part of next year. He's not going to deal with our summer heat. My friend Eddie Elliott goes on tour during the hot part of the year. I'm not sure where I'm going with this entry, I'll blame it on the heat.