New Post?

That last post was rather negative. It seems that I've missed my own point. What is the use in spreading negativity through cyberspace? Isn't there enough everywhere you go? The truth is we need to dwell more on the things that touch us in a possitive way. On that note, I'd like to say "hello" to my special friend in Russia. Sorry that it's taken me so long to return your email. I'd like to give a shout out to Vagabond Bob. Thanks for the inspiration. To my friend the Minx, I have your back, I just don't talk behind it.
What's in store for next year? A blogger's cruise to the Caribbean? A recording session centered on Happy Meals without onions please? You never can tell. There should always be something to look forward to. Maybe there will be more song writting next year. Maybe my old buddies from Goodfoot will feel like it's time to go for it. Which reminds me, Brooks, "What the Hell?" Goodfoot Rich and I have been recording. Go west young man. Goodfoot Mike is ready to get the "F" out of the house.
I'll say goodbye for now. Thanks Minx for encouraging me to post something new.

Mistaking Kindness For Weakness

Since I was twenty I've known that I can never change the world. I have always believed since then that I could change my world. The point is, there are a lot of flat out shitty people out there. I know everyone is flawed but I never lost hope in the over all good of people. You can't tell by looking at people which is bad and which is good. Sometimes you think you know someone and that they are good. Now it is starting to no longer surprise me when it turns out that I was wrong. I guess that's a part of getting older. But what do you do? Cut off all ties to the outside world? Live in a bubble? Be very guarded? Take on a persona that is quite different than the person that you really are? No. You say "Fuck you" and go about your day. That must be why I'm such a success at being emotionally unavailable. I know who I am. I don't need to hear anyone's theories on what my demons are. Most of the time they are sooooo off base that I have to laugh. Very few people stop talking long enough to listen anyway. What do people expect? You'll say "Wow, no one understands me but you" No one understands anyone and no one cares to. They may sincerely think they do but they don't. I'd say that the majority of people that talk to me do so only because they want something or I amuse them. Let's hope I don't feel so dark tomorrow. This is a little example of my holiday cheer.

Holiday Spending Vs. Holiday Spirit

This is an age old problem that only gets worse every year. We started to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" as not to offend any non-Christians. Now a Rabi asks for one manora to go with the nine Christmas trees at an airport and what do they do? Give the man a manora? No. In the middle of the night they took out the Christmas trees. Now it makes it look like the jews stole Christmas. We know this isn't the case. I think being politically correct during the holidays is the devil's work. Because of my faith, I don't actually believe in the devil but if there were a devil, what an acomplishment. Being invisible would be the best way to cause trouble.
People sure don't mind taking your money during the "holidays" do they? You pull out the plastic to buy all those gifts you can't afford and the credit card companies make money. The stores make money. Every time you buy something there is a sales tax that goes to funding public programs (more money). Have a little "holiday" drink at a "holiday" party then drive and see if the courts mind taking your money.
Christmas is supposed to be the one time of year we take our heads out of our asses and love our fellow humans and put petty differences aside. A once a year reminder that we could be at peace. We humans found a way to fuck it up. Good going human race! We've all become the Grinch, the Scrooge, the mindless throwing money at the marketing without feeling the spirit. There are a lot of suicides at this time of year. People would be better to open their hearts than their wallets. Some people just buy their kids everything they want. People never stop wanting for material things, no one has that much money. Someone simply wishing a total stranger a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or whatever could change someone's mood for the better. I'm not talking about saying it just to people who buy something from you. I'm talking about people you pass everywhere. It may sound simple, it may sound goofy, but it sure feels good, as much to the poor as the rich.
I wonder what we'll take away next year. I'm sick of listening to six weeks of Jingle Bells. Maybe they'll take away "holiday" music. Don't get me wrong, holiday music is good but not the day after Halloween.

What Birthday?

I woke up on the morning of the day of my birth still drunk from the night before. I had what at the time seemed like a logical idea... keep drinking. Who wants to be hung over on their birthday anyway? I remember meeting a lot of new interesting people. I remember phone calls that weren't neccessary. I remember a lovely young girl telling me that she liked my shirt. I decided to wear my t-shirt that looks like the front of a tuxedo with my black suit and black Converse All Stars. I remember a guy telling me that he lost his job. I remember asking him where he saw it last. I remember a nice woman named Robyn bring me a shot of Tequila. I remember going to a lot of different bars. I remember a lot of people giving me rides to the next bar. I remember standing up straight with confidence because it was my birthday and it was my right to be drunk. I remember hearing that my former co-worker/friend passed away that day. I remember feeling, for a moment, far too mortal for a drunk man. It wasn't that long ago that we were celebrating his birthday. Fucking cancer. The bad thing about being thirty five is that a two day day drunk has a two day hang over.

Why Men Don't Want Children

There are several reasons why men would want to have children. I am only speaking of the things that scare the hell out of men. The first big reason is financial. Babies are expensive, diapers, clothes, daycare and medical care are just a few of the expenses. Child support usually is another issue. Couples usually don't make it more than seven years on average before divorce. Men, more often than not, end up having to pay child support. It's not unjust, it's just a fact of life. Second is responsibility. Both parents become responsible for a little person's life. The needs of the baby come first. That means sacrifice on all levels. You, as a parent are responsible for all of your child's actions. If your child decides that it would be fun to throw a rock at a car, you are responsible for all damages. A big concern for men is that women usually put on a bit of weight and don't lose it after the baby is born. They often times stop making an effort to look nice because they are too tired from working and taking care of the baby. Men are called insensitive jerks for saying anything about it. A lot of men don't say anything and lose their attraction for the woman. This will cause problems. Men certainly have been guilty of letting themselves go as well. When the relationship does come to an end there can not be a clean break. You will have to deal with one another for years to come because there are always issues concerning the child or children. The man often finds himself at 30 to 40 newly single, out of shape, living in an apartment, having the baggage of financial obligations to the child and possibly the ex, being a part time father and wondering if he'll ever have anything to offer to a new relationship. After a while his ex will meet a man that will be spending more time with your child than you do because of the custody arrangement. I'm not saying that the woman has it any easier. This is a one sided view from the man's perspective. What do you have when it all falls apart? A child or children that you love but will probably on more than one occasion tell you how much they hate you because you are so unfair and ruined their life. Parenthood is a thankless job. I need to call my dad and thank him.

Happy Holidays?

What is wrong with this homeowner's association in Denver? Someone displayed a Christmas wreath made into a peace sign and the association deems it offensive. The president of the association says it may offend people with children in Iraq or may be a symbol of Satan. Bovine feces! If I had a child or a loved one serving in Iraq I would pray everyday for peace so that person could come home. I do anyway. The peace sign, a symbol of Satan? Oh, sure, you know how much Satan likes peace. I suppose the Christmas song that speaks of peace on earth and good will towards man was written by Satan. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Jesus is known as the Prince of Peace. Is Jesus Satan? Give me a break. I think most Christmas decorations look a bit tacky but this is still a free country isn't it? It's not like she's trying to park her car on the lawn. To Lisa Jensen, the person that hung the wreath, I admire you for not being bullied. I hope it stays up through the holidays. The idea of peace is never anything to be ashamed of, after all, that's what our service people are fighting for. To Bob Kearns, president of the homeowner's association, shame on you! I don't normally put up a Christmas wreath but I think I will make one of these peace wreaths for my door.

Happy Thanksgiving

I like Thanksgiving. It's okay to eat like a pig and it's a good excuse to visit with friends and relatives. Abraham Lincoln made it an official national holiday back in 1860 something. They ate much better then. They had duck, leg of lamb and all kinds of good stuff. I'm looking forward to having a day off and eating like there's no tomorrow. This Thanksgiving let's spend a little time thinking about the long journey and the struggle the Cardinals have gone through to get their own stadium. They may even win a few games there. I'm just kidding. Happy Thanksgiving.

Good Music Night

Friday night I went to The Dirty Drummer to see my friend Eddie Elliott play. As a bonus Jeremiah was there from Los Angeles. What a great time. Eddie played the first few sets then Jeremiah played with Eddie and Jeremiah finished the last few sets. It was a great way to spend a Friday. Eddie is getting a lot of possitive feedback from the Dirty Drummer patrons. It was a major treat to hear Jeremiah play songs with Eddie. They played a song called Willie Wonka Revisited together and it was GREAT! Eddie has too many fantastic songs to list here. I realized this yesterday when I was trying to make an Eddie Elliott mix disc and I couldn't fit all the songs that I wanted on to one disc. To find out more about Ed visit www.eddieelliott.com and maybe you can catch a show. Eddie and I used to be next door neighbors. Before I ever met him I heard his music. Eddie had given my brother his cd. I went to the pizza place that my brother worked and the song 12 Again was on in the dining room. I told my brother that it was about time that the radio started playing good songs and I asked him if he knew who the artist was. My brother said that it was our new neighbor and I didn't believe him. Three months later when Eddie got back from his tour I was already a fan. That was back in 2002.

Holy Estrogen!

Does Tyra Banks HAVE to be on television? To watch her you would swear that there is nothing more important or nobel than being a model. Let's face it, most women don't look like Tyra Banks. How in the world are any typical, normal women going to relate? It must be like hanging out with that really "cool" person that normally would be too good to hang out with you but for some reason the're hanging anyway. I must hand it to her though, she's going to save all those women from their dangerous thong underwear. Where does she get her topics? Who is watching these shows? She seems like a genuinely good person, but I know a lot of genuinely good people that do not have their own television shows. The bottom line is that we already have Oprah, can't we leave well enough alone? Maybe Tyra could get a job on The View, then no one could ever make out what the hell she's saying. Cluck, cluck, cluck. I just don't like it when the commercials are more interesting than the show. If anyone from any of the networks are reading, here's an idea. Topless Tyra, high definition in surround silence.

Betty Ford Clinic

My friend Mark Cordes came by the office today. He is a comedian (a funny fellar). He is the one that came up with my signature Betty Ford Clinic hat. I've heard him compared to a "funny" Chevy Chase. How fortunate he is, can you think of a better job than making people laugh for a living? You can learn more about him at www.markcordes.com . I've seen him at the Tempe Improv several times, I urge anyone looking to see a very funny comedian to see one of his shows.

Weekend

I finally have a few moments to write about the weekend. Too bad I didn't get pictures. Friday night was the good 'ol beer drinking night. My friends Sky and Barry and I went to Eddie's Tavern. Saturday, Nicki T. and I met at Famous Sam's where her friend Shawn and I were exposed to a wardrobe malfunction of an older woman. It was, as Nicki said "Like watching a train wreck." My yelling out "I'm blind!" probably didn't help the situation. We then went to meet up with my friend and old band mate Rich and our friend Sedona Becky at the Ox Bar. It was a rough crowd but it was a lot of fun after a few Miller Lite's. Rich, Becky and I met up with my friend John at my place. There was a domestic disturbance somewhere in the neighborhood and the hottie chick cop asked if I heard anything and I said I didn't but my friend Becky said she heard something. I poked my head in the door and asked what she heard and as she was walking out she said "Someone got murdered." The hottie cop was standing right there. Oh was Becky ever surprised. We went to Lagerfields and had many laughs. I slept most of Sunday. Nicki T. and I never did make it to that party we were planning on going to.

O.J. - I've never seen so much blood in my life

O.J. Simpson is going to be on television promoting his book. He will be talking about "If I did it, here's how it happened." If he didn't do it, how does he know how it happened? If he didn't do it, why would he discuss how he would have done it? If he publishes a book and makes money on it, because he lost the civil suit, would he have to start paying the settlement from the proceeds of book sales? None of this makes any sense to me. If he really didn't do it, he should refrain from making stupid comments regarding the murder. What's next, will he make a movie showing how he would have done it? Maybe the bonus footage on the DVD would show his home made sex tape with Nicole Brown Simpson (If there ever was one). Maybe they'll show him golfing over her grave. The sick thing is that someone would buy it. Bad taste, that's the nicest thing I can say.

Monday from Hell

I love the Monday that people expect you to get a week's worth of work done in one day. That would be today. I had all kinds of things to write about but it isn't likely to happen. I'll try tomorrow.

Family

Kids are cool. I was playing Nerf guns with my nephews yesterday and Connor, the youngest one, did a full on dramatic death scene. When he was done he giggled like crazy. Being an uncle is great, I get to get them hiper and go home.

Stress

I have been worried that I may be consuming too much beer lately, then I have a day like today. I'm looking forward to that cold beverage brewed from malt and hops that makes me feel like the slack-jawed hillbilly that came to town. When I'm feeling a bit more thoughtful and artsy I prefer red wine. It is a lot of fun going to a wine bar, listening to piano, guitar, or a jazz combo and trying different wine. When I want to act stupid and do things that I probably won't remember, I'll drink hard stuff. Today, however, is a good 'ol draft beer, hell raising, alcohol sure do numb the pain, thank god it's Friday kind of night. Tomorrow I'm going to a party with my good friend Nicki T. at her friend's house. With this in mind, I will try to end the insanity early tonight. I will be meeting new people tomorrow and don't want to be hung over, embarrassing, or worse yet; boring.
I would like to thank Minx for the mention on her site. The Minx knows how to put photos on her blog, check it out www.minxinthecity.com

Oh my God, I killed Jimmy!

I just read my own post about outsourcing. I sounded really preachy. I'm stepping off the soap box now. Heard any good jokes lately? Okay, a duck walks into a bar....

Outsourcing

I find it very depressing to watch "Rome" fall. By Rome I mean the United States. I understand that other countries need to eat and Americans are charitable but if we keep giving jobs to outsourcing and undocumented workers this country won't have the money to be charitable. People will argue that these are jobs that Americans won't do, but I have news for you Sally, they're starting to outsource surgery. It's cheaper to put you on a plane to India for surgery and fly you back than to send you two miles from your home. People will say that American doctors are too greedy. The American people are too greedy. America is sue crazy. Work hard? Why? I'll either sue somebody, win the lottery or wait for my parents to die. America has gone horribly wrong. Hard work is what made this country. Think of all the people that died defending this country next time you support a business that outsources.

Who, What, When, How, Where... Why?

I selected the title The Greatest Fifteen Minutes Of My Life because of my good friend Bob. Bob has the site www.thegreatestyearofmylife.com and it has inspired me, Gentleman Jim. I can barely write my name in the dirt with a stick but I'll struggle through it. I chose fifteen minutes because that may be how long I stay focused on this endeavor. I have no idea what I'll be writing or what subjects are off limits. I wonder if anyone will read it?

Starting A Blog

I've never posted a blog before. It should be a good old fashioned Easter Seal clubbing time.