Me 101

101. My name is: Jim

100. I was born in: The log cabin that I helped my Dad build.

99. I am really: A lesbian trapped inside a man's body.

98. My cell phone company is: Making money.

97. My eye color is: Determined by D.N.A.

96. My shoe size is: Big enough to get me dates.

95. My ring size is: Don't go there.

94. My height is: 6'

93. I am allergic to: Cats.

92. I was born: Me too.

91. I am annoyed by: Polititians.

90. Last book you read: Rocket Surgery for Dummies.

89. My bed is: Leaking air like my last girlfriend.

88: One thing you hate about yourself: I can't think of anything.

87. My favorite Holiday is: Halloween.

86. The perfect kiss: Is a pleasant surprise.

85. The last three cd’s I bought were: In 1987.

84. Are you living at home: I'm living in someone's home but they don't know about it.

83. Do you have any siblings: No, I just got tested, I'm clean. Oh, that's what it means? One brother.

82. Are your parents divorced: Yes.

81. What did you do yesterday: I went to Jerome, Arizona and made a live recording of my buddy Rich's band.

.:::I Believe In:::

80. Love at first sight: Oh, I'm certain that it happens all the time.

79. Luck: I like a little in my coffee now and then.

78. Fate: Only if it's meant to be.

77. Yourself: If I don't, who will?

76. Aliens: Totally, haven't you ever been to Home Depot?

75. Heaven: Every dead person I've ever talked to says it's true.

74. Hell: The abscence of God.

73. Ghosts: The abscence of life.

72. Horoscopes: Only in the hands of a real astrologer. NOT MISS CLEO.

71. Soulmates: I can barely find mates to my socks.

.:::Which is Better:::

70. Hugs or Kisses: Hugs.

69. Drunk or High: Highly drunk.

68. Phone or Online: Online.

67. Red heads or Black haired: If they shave, how do you know?

66. Blondes or Brunettes: See question 67.

65. Hot or cold: Depends, hot beer sucks and so do cold fries.

64. Summer or winter: Winter.

63. Fall or Spring: Fall, I vaguely recall seasons.

62. Chocolate or vanilla: I've had both, both are tasety.

61. Night or Day: Night.

60. Oranges or Apples: I like apple pie, never had orange pie, so, apples.

59. Curly or Straight hair: I hear that Asian women have straight, oh that hair, doesn't matter.

:::Here’s What I Think About:::

58. Abortion: Too bad you don't know what kind of person they'll be before you make that decision.

57. Backstabbers: Good arguement for abortion.

:::Last time I:::

56.Had food? I threw up. New diet, it's called the undercooked chicken diet.

55. Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: I said hello to that person.

54. Cried in front of someone: When I knew for sure that I was in love with Katy Holmes, jumped on my couch for about an hour.

53. Who is the ditziest person you know? I'd rather not say, the person I'm thinking of is just too nice.

52. Who makes you laugh the most: All my friends make me laugh.

51. The last movie I saw: Lipstick Lesbian Sorority 5, much better than 12.

50. What I don’t understand is: I don't think there's enough room in cyber space for the answer to that.

49. The thing that I’m looking forward to: Is my next breakup. They don't even hurt anymore.

48. Someone I always really miss: The girl I breakup with.

47. The thing that I’m not looking forward to is: That magic part of a new relationship when you first meet and you get butterflies in your stomach, I hate that.

46. Tomorrow: Less commonly known as the day after today.

45. Today: Less commonly known as the day before tomorrow.

44. Next Summer: I'll be sweating.

43. Next Weekend: Watching porn and eating cup cakes.

42. People call me: All sorts of things.

41. The person who knows the most about me is: The C.I.A.

40. The most difficult thing to do is: Remember where the hell I live when I'm drunk.

39. I have gotten a speeding ticket: For speeding, not sure where to go with that one.

38.My zodiac sign is: Sagitarious.

37. The first person i talked to today was: Some crazy person, I talk to myself a lot.

36. First time you had a crush: It was orange.

35. The one person who i can’t hide things from: The troll that lives underneath the stairs, he knows everything, even where I put my keys.

34. Last time someone said something you were thinking: No one can even guess what I'm thinking.

33. Right now I am talking to: No one.

32. What is your dream job? Gentle without teeth digging in.

31. First real job? Rocket surgeon for the government.

30. I have/will get a job: If I meet the right girl.

29. I have these pets: None.

28. I wish: Mexico was a better place to live.

27. The worst sound in the world: Leaf blowers.

26. The person that makes me cry the most is? George W. Bush, I laugh so hard I tear up and can't breathe.

25. Best sound in the world: Pssssssh... bubble, bubble, glug, glug, fizz.

24. Person[s] that makes you happy: You mean what parts of me get happy? Don't understand the question.

23. Florida or Hawaii: What's the point spread?

22. My favorite piece of clothing: My Betty Ford Clinic hat.

21. Last time I cried: I was laughing so hard.

20. My friends are: Growing up, how boring.

19. My computer is: A Commodore 64.

18. The school I go to is: I don't go to school.

17. Last person I got mad at: Won't live forever.

16. The all-time best movie is: Throw Mama From The Leaky Prophylactic.

15. The all-time best feeling in the world is: Sex.

14. I lose all respect for people who: Molest children.

13. The movie I cried at was: Wizard of Oz, I was three. Mean old lady taking D's dog Toto.

12. TV channels you watch: History Channel, Animal Planet, Comedy Central, Spike, FX, Fox and Travel Channel.

11. Favorite web site: Mine.

10. I like/love: Chicken wings.

9. The worst pain I was ever in was: After I ate some bad chicken wings.

8. My favorite word is: Yes.

7. My room is: Attached to the rest of my place.

6. My favorite celebrity is: Santa Claus.

5. My weakness is: Guinness.

4. What I like about the opposite sex is: Women are kinda um, gosh .... uh pretty. I like boobies!

3. Who broke your heart: How would I know her name? I guess I could get it off the restraining order.

2. One thing that makes you feel great is: Taking candy from a baby, then replacing it with a healthy nutrious piece of fruit.

1. One person that you wish you could see right now: I'm not really in the mood for company right now.