There are several reasons why men would want to have children. I am only speaking of the things that scare the hell out of men. The first big reason is financial. Babies are expensive, diapers, clothes, daycare and medical care are just a few of the expenses. Child support usually is another issue. Couples usually don't make it more than seven years on average before divorce. Men, more often than not, end up having to pay child support. It's not unjust, it's just a fact of life. Second is responsibility. Both parents become responsible for a little person's life. The needs of the baby come first. That means sacrifice on all levels. You, as a parent are responsible for all of your child's actions. If your child decides that it would be fun to throw a rock at a car, you are responsible for all damages. A big concern for men is that women usually put on a bit of weight and don't lose it after the baby is born. They often times stop making an effort to look nice because they are too tired from working and taking care of the baby. Men are called insensitive jerks for saying anything about it. A lot of men don't say anything and lose their attraction for the woman. This will cause problems. Men certainly have been guilty of letting themselves go as well. When the relationship does come to an end there can not be a clean break. You will have to deal with one another for years to come because there are always issues concerning the child or children. The man often finds himself at 30 to 40 newly single, out of shape, living in an apartment, having the baggage of financial obligations to the child and possibly the ex, being a part time father and wondering if he'll ever have anything to offer to a new relationship. After a while his ex will meet a man that will be spending more time with your child than you do because of the custody arrangement. I'm not saying that the woman has it any easier. This is a one sided view from the man's perspective. What do you have when it all falls apart? A child or children that you love but will probably on more than one occasion tell you how much they hate you because you are so unfair and ruined their life. Parenthood is a thankless job. I need to call my dad and thank him.
3 comments:
interesting read, although that's just one of many perceptions. you choose how you want to look at it. if this is your choice of perception, then good for you.
I just got divorced because my husband of 7 years didn't want children. I discussed the subject with him many times. Have done some google research and still can't come up with an answer that I can relate to. I guess I'm just not evolved enough.
Written by a girl who wants children but has none, and nobody who wants them with her. I was never able to appreciate my father when he was alive, they way I wanted to. He was gruff. He went to work everyday for me, and was faithful and loyal to my mom for me. I'll spend every moment of my life in thanks to him for that. His example is what gets me up and keeps me going and motivated. He's the biggest treasure I've had in life. Men: if you want to be cherished and remembered for who you are and what you did, if you want your life to count....What you are, how you live, what you do for your kids each day ~ whether they see you or not ~ is remembered long after you're gone. It's taking initiative, daily, to leave your imprint on earth after your body departs. Your child's love, appreciation for you, is eternal. I wish I could find a man who understood this....I'm sure some of you do....For those in doubt, my dad powers my life, my sleep, & guides my steps. He's deceased nearly 20 years. Saddest moments in my life are when I left him or passed him by, cause I was feeling down about not living-up to the person I should have been....but he liked me as I was....
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