Happy Holidays?

What is wrong with this homeowner's association in Denver? Someone displayed a Christmas wreath made into a peace sign and the association deems it offensive. The president of the association says it may offend people with children in Iraq or may be a symbol of Satan. Bovine feces! If I had a child or a loved one serving in Iraq I would pray everyday for peace so that person could come home. I do anyway. The peace sign, a symbol of Satan? Oh, sure, you know how much Satan likes peace. I suppose the Christmas song that speaks of peace on earth and good will towards man was written by Satan. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Jesus is known as the Prince of Peace. Is Jesus Satan? Give me a break. I think most Christmas decorations look a bit tacky but this is still a free country isn't it? It's not like she's trying to park her car on the lawn. To Lisa Jensen, the person that hung the wreath, I admire you for not being bullied. I hope it stays up through the holidays. The idea of peace is never anything to be ashamed of, after all, that's what our service people are fighting for. To Bob Kearns, president of the homeowner's association, shame on you! I don't normally put up a Christmas wreath but I think I will make one of these peace wreaths for my door.

Happy Thanksgiving

I like Thanksgiving. It's okay to eat like a pig and it's a good excuse to visit with friends and relatives. Abraham Lincoln made it an official national holiday back in 1860 something. They ate much better then. They had duck, leg of lamb and all kinds of good stuff. I'm looking forward to having a day off and eating like there's no tomorrow. This Thanksgiving let's spend a little time thinking about the long journey and the struggle the Cardinals have gone through to get their own stadium. They may even win a few games there. I'm just kidding. Happy Thanksgiving.

Good Music Night

Friday night I went to The Dirty Drummer to see my friend Eddie Elliott play. As a bonus Jeremiah was there from Los Angeles. What a great time. Eddie played the first few sets then Jeremiah played with Eddie and Jeremiah finished the last few sets. It was a great way to spend a Friday. Eddie is getting a lot of possitive feedback from the Dirty Drummer patrons. It was a major treat to hear Jeremiah play songs with Eddie. They played a song called Willie Wonka Revisited together and it was GREAT! Eddie has too many fantastic songs to list here. I realized this yesterday when I was trying to make an Eddie Elliott mix disc and I couldn't fit all the songs that I wanted on to one disc. To find out more about Ed visit www.eddieelliott.com and maybe you can catch a show. Eddie and I used to be next door neighbors. Before I ever met him I heard his music. Eddie had given my brother his cd. I went to the pizza place that my brother worked and the song 12 Again was on in the dining room. I told my brother that it was about time that the radio started playing good songs and I asked him if he knew who the artist was. My brother said that it was our new neighbor and I didn't believe him. Three months later when Eddie got back from his tour I was already a fan. That was back in 2002.

Holy Estrogen!

Does Tyra Banks HAVE to be on television? To watch her you would swear that there is nothing more important or nobel than being a model. Let's face it, most women don't look like Tyra Banks. How in the world are any typical, normal women going to relate? It must be like hanging out with that really "cool" person that normally would be too good to hang out with you but for some reason the're hanging anyway. I must hand it to her though, she's going to save all those women from their dangerous thong underwear. Where does she get her topics? Who is watching these shows? She seems like a genuinely good person, but I know a lot of genuinely good people that do not have their own television shows. The bottom line is that we already have Oprah, can't we leave well enough alone? Maybe Tyra could get a job on The View, then no one could ever make out what the hell she's saying. Cluck, cluck, cluck. I just don't like it when the commercials are more interesting than the show. If anyone from any of the networks are reading, here's an idea. Topless Tyra, high definition in surround silence.

Betty Ford Clinic

My friend Mark Cordes came by the office today. He is a comedian (a funny fellar). He is the one that came up with my signature Betty Ford Clinic hat. I've heard him compared to a "funny" Chevy Chase. How fortunate he is, can you think of a better job than making people laugh for a living? You can learn more about him at www.markcordes.com . I've seen him at the Tempe Improv several times, I urge anyone looking to see a very funny comedian to see one of his shows.

Weekend

I finally have a few moments to write about the weekend. Too bad I didn't get pictures. Friday night was the good 'ol beer drinking night. My friends Sky and Barry and I went to Eddie's Tavern. Saturday, Nicki T. and I met at Famous Sam's where her friend Shawn and I were exposed to a wardrobe malfunction of an older woman. It was, as Nicki said "Like watching a train wreck." My yelling out "I'm blind!" probably didn't help the situation. We then went to meet up with my friend and old band mate Rich and our friend Sedona Becky at the Ox Bar. It was a rough crowd but it was a lot of fun after a few Miller Lite's. Rich, Becky and I met up with my friend John at my place. There was a domestic disturbance somewhere in the neighborhood and the hottie chick cop asked if I heard anything and I said I didn't but my friend Becky said she heard something. I poked my head in the door and asked what she heard and as she was walking out she said "Someone got murdered." The hottie cop was standing right there. Oh was Becky ever surprised. We went to Lagerfields and had many laughs. I slept most of Sunday. Nicki T. and I never did make it to that party we were planning on going to.

O.J. - I've never seen so much blood in my life

O.J. Simpson is going to be on television promoting his book. He will be talking about "If I did it, here's how it happened." If he didn't do it, how does he know how it happened? If he didn't do it, why would he discuss how he would have done it? If he publishes a book and makes money on it, because he lost the civil suit, would he have to start paying the settlement from the proceeds of book sales? None of this makes any sense to me. If he really didn't do it, he should refrain from making stupid comments regarding the murder. What's next, will he make a movie showing how he would have done it? Maybe the bonus footage on the DVD would show his home made sex tape with Nicole Brown Simpson (If there ever was one). Maybe they'll show him golfing over her grave. The sick thing is that someone would buy it. Bad taste, that's the nicest thing I can say.

Monday from Hell

I love the Monday that people expect you to get a week's worth of work done in one day. That would be today. I had all kinds of things to write about but it isn't likely to happen. I'll try tomorrow.

Family

Kids are cool. I was playing Nerf guns with my nephews yesterday and Connor, the youngest one, did a full on dramatic death scene. When he was done he giggled like crazy. Being an uncle is great, I get to get them hiper and go home.

Stress

I have been worried that I may be consuming too much beer lately, then I have a day like today. I'm looking forward to that cold beverage brewed from malt and hops that makes me feel like the slack-jawed hillbilly that came to town. When I'm feeling a bit more thoughtful and artsy I prefer red wine. It is a lot of fun going to a wine bar, listening to piano, guitar, or a jazz combo and trying different wine. When I want to act stupid and do things that I probably won't remember, I'll drink hard stuff. Today, however, is a good 'ol draft beer, hell raising, alcohol sure do numb the pain, thank god it's Friday kind of night. Tomorrow I'm going to a party with my good friend Nicki T. at her friend's house. With this in mind, I will try to end the insanity early tonight. I will be meeting new people tomorrow and don't want to be hung over, embarrassing, or worse yet; boring.
I would like to thank Minx for the mention on her site. The Minx knows how to put photos on her blog, check it out www.minxinthecity.com

Oh my God, I killed Jimmy!

I just read my own post about outsourcing. I sounded really preachy. I'm stepping off the soap box now. Heard any good jokes lately? Okay, a duck walks into a bar....

Outsourcing

I find it very depressing to watch "Rome" fall. By Rome I mean the United States. I understand that other countries need to eat and Americans are charitable but if we keep giving jobs to outsourcing and undocumented workers this country won't have the money to be charitable. People will argue that these are jobs that Americans won't do, but I have news for you Sally, they're starting to outsource surgery. It's cheaper to put you on a plane to India for surgery and fly you back than to send you two miles from your home. People will say that American doctors are too greedy. The American people are too greedy. America is sue crazy. Work hard? Why? I'll either sue somebody, win the lottery or wait for my parents to die. America has gone horribly wrong. Hard work is what made this country. Think of all the people that died defending this country next time you support a business that outsources.

Who, What, When, How, Where... Why?

I selected the title The Greatest Fifteen Minutes Of My Life because of my good friend Bob. Bob has the site www.thegreatestyearofmylife.com and it has inspired me, Gentleman Jim. I can barely write my name in the dirt with a stick but I'll struggle through it. I chose fifteen minutes because that may be how long I stay focused on this endeavor. I have no idea what I'll be writing or what subjects are off limits. I wonder if anyone will read it?

Starting A Blog

I've never posted a blog before. It should be a good old fashioned Easter Seal clubbing time.